Who I should be

“Transformation,” whispered he,
“a woman you can be
Just take this pill, for if you will,
a marvel you shall see

“This ugly flesh you so despise
will melt away like ice
To leave a form that’s feminine
a beauty to entice

“A goddess of seductive form!
they’ll kneel and worship you…
So take this pill – it won’t go ill –
remake yourself anew.”

Oh cursed man to offer this –
an answer to my dreams!
I couldn’t be who I should be
by any other means

I bought the pill and bought the lie
and swallowed straight away
I couldn’t bear to seem a man
for even one more day

So slowly ticked the evil clock
so sluggish were its hands
When happiness is hours away
how cruelly still time stands

A violent illness conquered me
a torment I endured
But worth each misery if thus
my wrongness could be cured

Dawn spilled through the frosted glass
revealing skin so pale
The muscled man I’d loathed for years
now delicate and frail

Though curved in ways that made me smile
and filled me with desire
Each thought of others seeing me
fuelled an inner fire

“How wonderful!” my master cried
“you’ll serve me very well!
Your chips and circuits mine to use
your pleasure mine to sell…”